Proving vs. Improving
The Hidden Trap of Always Proving Yourself—and How to Break Free
I'm the youngest sibling and have had a bit of a journeyed career over the past couple of decades. I think those two things are probably related. Growing up, I followed paths that were challenging and exciting for me, but also notably different from those my siblings took. I have no doubt that, subconsciously, I was trying to prove I had my own unique talents—to step out from the shadows I thought my talented siblings cast over me.
Like many people, I spent a lot of time proving I could do something or was willing to go further than others to succeed. But as I’ve grown, and especially now as a career coach, I’ve come to realize this isn’t a struggle unique to me. It’s something I see in a lot of my clients—people who want to grow in their careers, but struggle because they’re stuck in ‘proving’ mode. They work hard to show they’re capable and willing to go to extensive lengths, but when it comes to improving, refining their skills and taking the next step, they hesitate.
Example.
Imagine you overcome a fear of water and decide to compete in a 3-meter dive. You make a decent attempt, and people commend you for conquering that fear. The judges score you a solid 6, but they mention that your form could use some work—maybe adjusting your angle on entry and reducing your splash. It’s a solid attempt, with clear areas for improvement. But instead of focusing on that, you decide to tackle a new fear: heights. You sign up for the high dive, hoping that this next big leap will be your ticket to the Olympics.
In both cases, you’re showing courage—but you’re also prolonging the inevitable. You’re avoiding the harder task of improving what you’ve already done (and likely will still get asked to do at the next height).
In the professional world, it’s the same story: many people keep taking on new challenges to prove themselves, but they’re skipping over the opportunity to refine their skills and really excel in what they’ve already started.
It’s important to challenge yourself, but sometimes the harder and more rewarding path is in honing what you’ve already started. Rather than constantly proving you can tackle something new, ask yourself: Where could I improve in what I’m already doing? That’s where the real growth and real results are waiting.
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Astrovan - Mt. Joy
I heard this song for the first time over the weekend and it instantly got added to the Liked Songs list. It’s catchy, it’s silly, maybe a tad blasphemous to some; but it had me stop what I was doing at the time, sit down, and just 100% be in the moment. What more can you ask from a song? Where has this song and band been hiding from me for the past 6 years?